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Most people’s reaction when facing adversities is to attempt to change the situation. But how many of us realize that when the situation around us is beyond our control, what we can still take control of is the attitude of our heart. In other words, even the future might not be changed by us, we can still decide with what kind of attitude we face the future. Attitude and Success William James (1842-1920), an outstanding professor who taught Psychology at Harvard University said that the greatest discovery of the century was that “Attitudinal change can transform one’s whole life.” Attitude outweighs family background, educational degrees, social status, background of one’s upbringing, the experiences of success and failure, the outward appearance and innate talents. What kind of attitude should one have when facing frustrations and trials? In the book “33 Attitudes One Should Have before Age 35, author Mei-Jing Su emphasizes, there are seven essential attitudes all men should possess. Combined those with Biblical teachings and practical applications, the impact would be even greater. 1. Identify the values in life: Attitude not only determines the altitude of one’s corporate climb, it also would affect one’s life values. Action point: “To give unconditionally without seeking any return”. “Treasure all the divine appointments in the journey of life.” “Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. (1Timothy 6:18) 2. Guard our hearts: When our heart changes, our attitude would change; once our attitude changes, our habit would change and as a result, our life would change. Action point: “Do not blindly trust our naked eyes” “Let optimistic thinking affect your behaviors.” “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”(Proverbs 4:23) 3. Kindle life’s passion: Keith Harrell, the motivational speaker points out that in order to cultivate right attitudes, one need to first identify the goals of life and kindle the passion for life. Action point: discover other people’s strengths, imitate and acquire them. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) 4. Live out the special qualities in your characters: Attitude is the sum total of one’s education, experience and characters. Grip tightly on the “rope of attitude” that would affect your personal traits. Life = 10% surrounding + 90% attitude. Action point: Encourage yourself with sincere attitude, never allow poisonous words to destroy you. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” (Proverbs 21:23) 5. Map out action plans: Understand well the power of attitude, and then put attitude into action. Action point: “Pay attention to the schedule of life, take opportunities of the one-way ticket”, “Discard the old baggage and push your limit to a new horizon.” “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize.”(Philippians 3:13-14) 6. Hold onto the golden keys of the market place: Life’s three golden keys – family background, educational background and attitude – the first two would allow you freely to get in and out of the Club of Success; However, if you have already lost the opportunities to get these two keys, it is entirely up to you whether you can keep the golden key of attitude. Action point: “Drink more coffee, but gossip less”. “Whether you are working or not, keep a teachable attitude”. “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.”(Proverbs 20:19) 7. March toward the Road to Success: What is the key attitude which affects your life? The answer is : To give generously and to be persistent. Action point: “Indulge in the art of giving, for it is more blessed to give than to receive.” “Keep on keeping on! Until you are the leading actor in your own show.” "Give, and it will be given to you.” (Luke 6:38) The seven attitudes above would broaden your path of life. When you meet life’s challenges at every turn, remember, look up to God. “I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”(Psalm 121:1-2) Success in Interpersonal Relationship Attitude determines success! But, how do we keep a balanced attitude so that we can succeed in every area? The Success Master Stephen R. Covey wrote in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that “One should not live for other people’s preference or opinions.” “Respect each other’s different perspectives” “Win-win personal relationship” “Understand situations from other people’s perspectives” and “Persist on the Principles” were the basic rules that would make interpersonal relationship successful. What then is success? For the Kennedy clan, it is the social status and reputation; for others, it is the wealth and fortune; Still others think that the pursuit of higher education or happiness in marriage and harmonious parent-child relationship define what true success is. In the movie “Yuan Jia Huo” there is a memorable vignette toward the end of the movie. Huo was in a dual with a Japanese warrior when he fell as a result of the poison sneaked into his drink. But he inched up and stood to the applauding audience and turned to his buddy saying: “Life is never just a one man show.” When he was younger, he thought of himself as the undefeatable one. His bosom friend could not stand his arrogance and chose to depart from him. Soon after that both his mother and daughter were murdered, and suddenly he realized that he is left to himself, this was when he realized the importance of friends for a meaningful life. If the best investment of life is to invest on ourselves, then, success in career is only achieving half of the success equation. Those who have found balance in family, work, interpersonal relationship, personal faith and ministries are considered truly successful. Success at Work No one can be perfect in every area. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, “ Life is not a one man show” echoes the truth “No man is an island” In the corporal world, it is no longer workable to achieve success through one-upmanship. Whether a person has the ability to be a team-player becomes the yardstick of one’s value. Regarding the concept of “Great achievers are good team-players”, there is an Aesop’s fable that illustrates this point. Once there was an ant in the forest. One day, this little ant was blown away by the gusty wind to the edge of the pond; At the brink of his last breath, a dove standing on the branch of a tree noticed him and rushed to the side of the pond with a tree leave to his rescue. After much struggle, the ant finally climbed on the leaf. A breeze blew on the surface of the water and the leaf floated to the bank, so the ant was spared his life. This little ant realized that he owed his life to the kind-hearted dove. He needed to never forget who saved his life. A few days later, a hunter came to the forest and found the dove as a target for his hunt. This dove did not even realize his life was in great danger. At this juncture, the ant saw the hunter aiming at the dove. He quickly climbed to the hunter’s leg and took a big bite. Distracted by the bite, the hunter missed the target, and the dove was spared his life. The ant was able to return the kindness to his rescuer. Sometimes success also needs our special attention. James Orsini shared his own story of how he partnered with other CEOs in his book “The Six Fundamentals of Success”. He analyzed the habits of those highly successful executives and came up with six fundamentals of success: “Enhance organizational and individual values”, “360 degrees communication”, “Understand how to be effective”, “Honesty is the best policy”, “Cultivate personal resources” and “Keep a Panoramic Standpoint”. Success in Education Being the mother of three children, I often wonder: What is success in education? Take myself as an example, I grew up in Taiwan. In our home, our grandparents were strongly against their grandchildren to befriend two types of people—those from mainland China, and those that were Christians. The reasons were very simple, the former were hostile toward the Taiwanese, and the latter were those who would not mourn for their deceased parents. In 1980, my two brothers and I were baptized together. When I got married in 1982, my oldest brother teased me: “ You traitor! You became a Christian and married a Mainlander..” From certain perspective, it looked like my parents’ education for me failed. But from another angle, they were successful for they were able to rear up one person that had her own independent thinking and personality. They allowed me to use my own judgment to decide on my own belief and select my own life partner. When Mother realized that I already made up my mind to marry a young man whose parents were from Mainland China, she said: “Taiwanese also have bad children, and Mainlanders also have good children…” Thanks to her openness, we were able to bypass the conflicts and walked on the aisle to give our wedding vows. In my long-distant calls across the ocean, I often expressed my gratitude to my parents. Thanks to their positive outlook, we were able to build our marital relationship despite the hostile climate to ‘mixed marriage’ between the Mainlanders and the Taiwanese. I personally experienced how parents’ attitude toward their daughter’s marriage could positively or negatively impact her married life. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, he watchmen stand guard in vain.” (Psalm 127:1) The model for success cannot be cloned with ease. For me, to be successful is to have the presence of the Lord, to realize His blueprint of marriage in your life. To be successful is to have a happy marriage, to have harmonious family relationship. This is a blessed life.
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